Monday, May 27, 2019
Giving up on the World, "at Least in Some Way" or Some of It
It's weird not being able to communicate and being emotionally abused where I live.
"Don't be stupid, you know I love you."
I don't want to act stupid like the other people, whatever she is enjoying.
Knowing Her
Other people know more about her than she does maybe, at least in some ways that are different from non-famous people. I don't know why they think they really have something. Some of this is not really as fun, but my life I keep trying to make better and better otherwise at least.
Not "Out" "in Trouble"
I said what I said I'm not "out" all of a sudden now. I mean, I feel like me saying so makes me in trouble just because of the change.
Denied
I think I was made out to be denied by the older lady and she will sorta assimilate with this. First, she was nice, and then she acted like I had hope of being known for where I'm from but hat it's over if she wins that one spot after pretty much having the rest of the world taken from me, but she said she was only supposed to do that because I would know other real people including her, mainly, instead, she said so sorta symbolically or telepathically. However, it's been longer than before knowing her and I don't know her or anyone. If you are really wondering for some strange reason, I mean yes I know other people to different degrees and live "at home" with my dad and a little brother, my only sibling.
Why would I be in trouble with this older lady I had an affinity with?
I was okay even if the older lady said no to me... but it's like now I'm in trouble, and I didn't do anything wrong, just not all about presentation without content like most people.
People pretty much went crazy and lost it because she became popular through my fame and because they blamed me that Hillary didn't win the Presidency of the US. People "came out" and said she was more sex. I wasn't hated, unpopular, disliked, inappropriate. It's just that in Orlando everyone gets ticked off right away, and "somehow" the world just knows this.
People pretty much went crazy and lost it because she became popular through my fame and because they blamed me that Hillary didn't win the Presidency of the US. People "came out" and said she was more sex. I wasn't hated, unpopular, disliked, inappropriate. It's just that in Orlando everyone gets ticked off right away, and "somehow" the world just knows this.
Attacking Me
It's true, the people monitoring my life in conjunction with many others are ruining my life because I do have problems with someone I know and it might be because of this.
Why are the people involved monitoring my life serving Central Florida? because they're being stupid and selfish. It's supposedly just in case they are mean, but they don't deserve this.
What if that's why and they don't have to do it for any reason other than that it's a collective excuse that is given to someone I wanted this relationship with because they said it was okay? They are pretending it has to be forced.
Are you talking at me? I don't care if you think I should be punished because you're being supported acting like an airhead. How dare you all speak to me that way!
I should take it as people got me in trouble with an older lady I find nice who was social with me.
I wonder why the older lady more likes people who are popular because I know England said that, too. It wasn't the typical friend or nice person, who Europeans could express an interest in or bring themselves to assimilate with in the end in ways they wanted. So, aren't the popular people a mistake to talk to if they are bad too? If you could accept everyone, why not me? Other Asians can be accepted, even. I have a hard time being a Eurasian. 👿
"Things should be getting better."
Things are supposed to be getting better, if anyone can grasp what that concept might mean, these days.
I keep getting in trouble, though, when I didn't do anything wrong, just like it's the goal to find some excuse that I can't have relationships with people I like and especially a certain person I thought liked me or said they did.
Why is the focus on Orlando? "Orlando" could care less.
I'm often dealing with trouble, without explanation. Is this some game or saying I do that when I don't but in some related way that doesn't relate in that way?
I keep getting these messages in private that's ruining my life, still. Just look back at how crappy my life is for what it's worth.
I keep getting in trouble, though, when I didn't do anything wrong, just like it's the goal to find some excuse that I can't have relationships with people I like and especially a certain person I thought liked me or said they did.
Why is the focus on Orlando? "Orlando" could care less.
I'm often dealing with trouble, without explanation. Is this some game or saying I do that when I don't but in some related way that doesn't relate in that way?
I keep getting these messages in private that's ruining my life, still. Just look back at how crappy my life is for what it's worth.
Something Different
Something different with the relationship I am in now is that she really said she'd "do it" or have a relationship in real life in a way she concocted. I think that's one reason, people think unknowingly, that it's raised a lot of eyes.
However, just give people the material and hypnotize them in some gay secret code, and they'll all attack when I'm encouraged by anyone in life and for this relationship, like it's some big sin and I "should've said no" when the relationship didn't want me to. Actually, I'm in big trouble for doing anything like drawing back for other reasons sometime, but I also get the opposite message in what I was saying in general in this. So, you're wrong because I always was accepted before this. People have reasons to be against me, but I always felt like a "6th sense" they didn't really care about me. They seem delusional, distracted, preoccupied, and disconnected. So, are these people an excuse? them for me not having a good relationship? I think it's too late to say it's okay.
However, just give people the material and hypnotize them in some gay secret code, and they'll all attack when I'm encouraged by anyone in life and for this relationship, like it's some big sin and I "should've said no" when the relationship didn't want me to. Actually, I'm in big trouble for doing anything like drawing back for other reasons sometime, but I also get the opposite message in what I was saying in general in this. So, you're wrong because I always was accepted before this. People have reasons to be against me, but I always felt like a "6th sense" they didn't really care about me. They seem delusional, distracted, preoccupied, and disconnected. So, are these people an excuse? them for me not having a good relationship? I think it's too late to say it's okay.
Just 1 More Thing "in the Way"
So, I noticed one thing that I can't "meet" or "connect" with people because I'm being monitored in private, and they can "change" people out of my reach I would have otherwise had a good exchange or relationship with.
I didn't even want this mess, and it's costing me with people other than my parents and ones I like a lot. I like the "experiment" or being monitored in private, but it seems like it's costing me a lot for now. Of course, no one has to do it, though. It's like I can't meet people, though, and people are pretending I would have relationships, like in the world, and teasing me like I'd accept like it's bad.
I didn't even want this mess, and it's costing me with people other than my parents and ones I like a lot. I like the "experiment" or being monitored in private, but it seems like it's costing me a lot for now. Of course, no one has to do it, though. It's like I can't meet people, though, and people are pretending I would have relationships, like in the world, and teasing me like I'd accept like it's bad.
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